Horror Movie Review: Amityville Death Toilet (2023)

I’d make a crass joke about the franchise being in the toilet at this stage, but we all know that happened a long time ago. Amityville Death Toilet is what we get when a filmmaker has one idea, and that is it, but also knows that by attaching the Amityville name to it, some people will watch it. People like me, and probably, people like you.

The Amityville franchise, or the many films masquerading as entries, has become an unflushable turd and a film like this is where things start to overflow. We’re ankle deep in s**t water.

Written and directed by Evan Jacobs, Amityville Death Toilet is not a film to take seriously and more fool you if you do. However, that doesn’t mean it gets a free pass. Far from it. Not when it’s as dull as this.

The ‘story’ sees paranormal investigator Gregg (Isaac Golub) called in by the Amityville mayor following a rash of deaths that seems to be linked to a toilet. What he discovers is a demonic entity that threatens the entire township having possessed the commode. Will Gregg be able to exorcise the evil potty? Or will he end up choking on the stench of his failure?

Evan Jacobs’ commitment to the ‘bit’ is admirable and credit has to be given to the creator for pursuing his idea, no matter how absurd it is. However, this is pretty rancid. The morning after a ton of beer and a curry. That kind of rancid. The joke, and accompanying sound effects, gets old really quick and then all we’re left with is a ton of filler. Filler that includes characters, what few the film has, standing around and doing nothing while repeating the same bits of dialogue over and over again.

I will almost always watch a film to the end, but this one tested me and all because of the filler. It’s quite something that a film this short had to jam in so many pointless and repetitive scenes, which goes to show just how limited the script was. The sight and sound of the mayor demanding action from Gregg over and over again took the absolute piss.

This is why I think this is one of the worst ‘Amityville’ films to date.

Not because it has bad characters, not because it has subpar acting, and not because it looks and sounds like crap, but because the script appears to be half a page long. Even as a short horror film, this wouldn’t have been worthwhile.

You can’t polish a turd, and this one well and truly stinks.